Crappy Day

Shit hit the fan today.
Ok, not the fan. The table.
Aeva is usually very good at getting your attention when she needs it.  She's got an extensive vocabulary and an alarming volume which she can pair up in an impressive way.

What I wouldn't have done for her to have used that today.

I must have been on the net whoring out my resume to any sugar daddy employer when I smelled the impending doom. I looked up just in time to see Aeva taking her poop covered hand and wipe out of her diaper...and onto the living room side table.

No wait it gets better.

This is what we mommies like to call 'damage control'. Our mind reels through an rolodex of emergency procedures to contain and then mitigate any situation. Solutions are rapidly picked through, considered and/or discarded at lightning speed while we swoop in with military precision upon the offender. I had this. This was a Level 2 situation. Isolate the tainted hand with one arm, bring child to the sink and disinfect hand with other arm. Once the child was cleaned up, the table could be burned  disinfected.

Aeva had other plans.

Like sweeping her bangs behind her ear. Flapping her poopy hand at the bathroom door jam. Bracing herself on the bathtub as I tear off the diaper. And rubbing her face. No...not with the clean hand. That would be too easy.

We have rapidly escalated to a Level 10 situation. Lets just say...its everywhere. And it takes more than a good 20 butt wipes on Aeva alone. Too bad its not OK to use lysol wipes on toddler bums...

Im kneeling on the 70's floor tile in my rental house watching Aeva happily splashing away in the shallow water of the tub and Im wondering where the obvious anxiety attack is. A month ago my nearly 9 year marriage reached it breaking point. I have been a house wife for the last 3 years and I am suddenly sleeping alone and heavily pushing my resume around employers in Maryland. I dont even live in Maryland, yet. My soon-to-be ex-husband is being stationed there and for the sake of 2 year old Aeva and 8 year old Iris we've agreed to have the kids and I move close to him for this one assignment. If you know anything about Maryland is that its pricey. The economy SUCKS and Im still going to college. The last few weeks I've been mentally absent from a lot of things. I've super-zoned in on getting a job and a home in Maryland which requires 8+ hours of online scouting and typing and submitting.

Its not very kid friendly. Especially when im still a house wife...mom...whatever.

So maybe shit hitting the table wasn't as much a detrimental situation as a enlightening one. Watching Aeva act like a fish and run away naked from under her Mickey Mouse towel when Im trying to dry her off I realized that the divorce paperwork wont change what responsibilities I have towards my girls. I still dont feel like I can do this properly. I dont see how I'll conquer Maryland and single mommy-hood. I definitely still dont want to sit and talk about the 'End' with my friends and family...but I think i just gotta start with what I DO have: 2 Kids and my coffee...cant forget my coffee :)