Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Friendship Wanted, Inquire within

Theres definitely something I missed about living in an apartment complex. It may sound crazy a bit but I miss having neighbors in mass quantities. What I dont miss is how hard it is to engage them in conversation.  I got used to living in military housing where the moment you drive up to your new house, chances are your neighbors are lining your sidewalk like a welcoming committee.

Granted they're only there to be nosey most of the time.

Though there was that one time I drove up a while after the Ex had started to unload the moving truck and happened upon my next door neighbors and their kids talking to him. I later found out that their observation of my Ex and his work buddy unloading led them to think they were a gay couple and they wanted first dibs on the friendship possibility.
This was previous to the repelling of Dont ask Dont tell so I am not sure WHAT exactly gave them that impression but it humours me to this day.

Ahhh...good times.

At any rate, the only person I have befriended as of yet is my mailman. How unlikely is that?? He comes about 6 times a week, for 10-15 minutes and is then gone again.
As it seems to be the typical way to find me, I met Mr. C my first true day at the apartment when I arrived at my door and found my key faulty.
Two locks. One key. No ENTRY.

Ye Shall Not Pass! said the bronze knobs.

Ye shall tremble at the hands of a lock smith!, I replied.

Except the locksmith (a maintenance worker I had to go seek by foot), was chatty.
"Did you try both locks?"
Well no, I batted my eyes and nothing happened so I hailed a true knight to aid me in my time of distress.
"Yes. Yes I did."
"Hmm. Maybe you have the wrong key?"
"I just moved in. I dont know whats wrong I just know the key wont work"
" there another key?"
"If I HAD another key I would of tried it. Look Im not trying to be a dramatic bitch but I am tired, been up since 5 and I REALLY just want to lay in bed for a few minutes before my kids arrive."
"Oh. Ok. Well. See. Im going to rekey it for you. I will have to get my tools from my truck so that I can unfasten the bolts----"
Thats about as far into his love affair with locks as I got before I tuned out and my eyes glazed over.
Im TIRED dude. And im quickly losing my ability to keep my mouth in check. Im trying to be patient as he turns into Charlie Brown's teacher when I note the mailman peeking over his shoulder with a grin. He catches me looking and he shakes his head.
Good. Im not out of place to say:
"Alright really, I get that and its nice but thats MY dog you hear whining on the other side of the door having to go piss with an urgency and besides not wanting him to relieve himself on the carpet I am truly RUNNING OUT OF TIME before my kids return and I would REALLY like to catch a nap. That said, do what you must but PLEASE, let me in!"

Mr. C is an elderly black man with an easy chuckle and an obvious enjoyment of things being said as they are.
"You'll be alright, girl. You're funny though...talking like that. Good GAWD have mercy...heres your mail, now go on and get a nap!"
Seems Cerb knows him now too. I was sitting, as is my habit now, on the floor of the balcony one afternoon when out dashed my hell-hound bent on giving someone a piece of his mind. Across from my building Mr. C was getting out of his postal truck, laughing and waving at us.

I wish it was that easy to make friends with others here in the complex.
Its not that Im shy, its that I fear that I may come off as too forward. Or odd.
Maybe even crazy?
Pff. Right. Im no where NEAR crazy O_o
I sit here on the balcony floor, my ass going horribly numb with pin pricks and the likes, smoking a cigarette and others are doing much the same.
Some are leaning over banisters, some sitting on the stair case. Others in their cars, doors open, music playing. Those with better regards for their behinds, have patio sets.
Im tempted to walk over and say: "Hi. I noticed we've got a few things in common: smoking, insomnia, numb arses, and possibly loneliness. Lets be friends!"
Maybe that only works in the military where you can offer a complete stranger cat litter cake and/or candy on halloween late at night when you can barely make out their face and they suddenly become family.
Or maybe I need to learn a new way to make friends.
Id put an ad out on craigslist but Id like to live to a ripe old age.

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