Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Deja Poo

Im not trying to be vulgar but really, I think my life revolves around shit.
Thats shit.
This is THE shit.
Shit, what did you do??
What IS this shit?
This shit is good!
I've got shit to do.
He's got shit for brains.
And today:
She shit on the carpet.
I bet you can guess who that was.

Yep. Aeva.

I was putting around with ideas of how to return from my little absence these last few days when I had something of a deja vu.

Aeva pulling down her pants with that look on her face that says "im in way over my head",  and smears of .... stuff... on her backside. Sound familiar? No? Go back and read my first post ever. Trust me, youll be sitting there cringing along with me.

This time however, Iris was with me and we both sprang to action like super awesome super heros. I went for both of Aevas hands (learned that lesson!), and she went for wipes. Completely disabled from being able to perform further damage, Iris led Aeva away to the confines of the bare bathroom (we've yet to get our home goods) and I quickly disinfected the carpet before it set it. Something about Camden Apartments not liking the idea of me cutting a chunk of carpet out for sanitary reasons.

We are so classy we ended up dousing Aeva with a rinsed out Slurpee cup.

I cannot wait till I am out of this ridiculous potty training stage. It feels like it will take FOREVER to get Aeva to dispose of her nuclear waste in the john rather than the local surroundings. Its also not cool that I spent most of my 36 hours of driving from Texas to Maryland reaching behind me to squeeze the groin diaper area in order to determine if we needed the upteenth pit stop that HOUR.

Speaking of that trip. Ta-Daa! We made it! A tad belated but its been busy boys and girls! Ive been walking the interview strip in my knee high hooker heels (discreetly hidden under my very professional slacks mind you) tooting my goodies (aka skill sets and job experience) and handing out my resume like its no ones business. But...hopefully becomes someones business..never mind. You get it Im sure.

Anyhow, like any good kid recently scrubbed raw clean from a messy moment, Aeva donned her ballet shoes and took her sister out for a spin on the dance floor/ painfully bare livingroom. I took some cute shots (even one where Aeva did some overtly dramatic face-first faint) but theres not frick fracking way to get it OFF my phone and onto this damned thing so if anyone figures it out for me, you get kudos. And brownies maybe. Or just brownie points. I dont have any of my home goods :(

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