Friday, March 16, 2012

Burning chicken, naked dashes, and falling in your dreams

This lack of sleep is fucking with me.

There I was in the shower, tipping my head back and soaking my hair when I smelled something delicious cooking.

'Mmmm roast chicken?' I think. 'Cat,' My neighbor 'must be cooking something yummy...its kinda late though' 11:15 pm to be exact folks

'And isn't she leaving at 4 am for a conference?...'  And then it hit me. "Oh SHIT!"

I was boiling chicken in stock for enchiladas tomorrow. I cant even remember when I put the pot to the heat so images of charred chicken catching fire and turning my kitchen into a fire pit inferno had me dash out of the shower without so much as squeezing water out of my hair. Although come to think of it, I could of used the 5 gallons of water my long hair was soaking up. Thankfully I grabbed a towel because as I mad dashed across my living room and dining room I could clearly see my neighbors out my back patio doors since I have YET to fix the curtain rod. I do hope they forgive how often I dash about inappropriately dressed at night I keep forgetting to fix my curtains.

Oh and the chicken was fine. Low on water but perfectly cooked. Enchiladas are still on for tomorrow!

Its not like I don't get sleepy. I do. Its just that freakishly vivid nightmares and jolts keep me up. I didn't go to sleep till 5am yesterday (its now 1:13 on Friday*Update* Its now 3:52 am while I edit...I got distracted). I've been timing myself between sleeping bouts so I can catalogue how much sleep I actually get, and 10 minutes into closing my eyes I woke up to my fist narrowly missing my face. Nightmare evasive maneuver? Maybe. You know those dreams where you wake up feeling like you were falling and you momentarily spasm? Thats what I did, just a little more thrashing hence the flying fist.
A few night ago I had a dream where tornadoes were ravaging the area where Aeva and I were at. Inside the building we took refuge in, I was somehow aware that I wasn't going to survive it and that depending on how well I took position with Aeva would define wether my dead body would cover her from building fragments or suffocate her. Last night I dreamt she HAD somehow suffocated and my attempts to save her failed miserably. Other dreams involve losing Iris. Or reenactments of the BreakUp. Or other crazy emotionally painful scenarios my brain comes up with.

Sometimes Im so exhausted I try to nap when Aeva does. Dreams seem to be more vivid then, with shorter sleeping spurts so that I rely on a constant stream of texts and notifications to routinely wake me. Which is why I sleep with my phone in my hand. I've often gone through my phone later and realized I texted people back with one eye open and no coherency. If this is apologies. (PS i prolly didn't mean any of it unless its hilarious. If so, please share)

Im fairly certain that coffee has become onto water for me. It doesn't do a damn thing against this constant exhaustion.

It does have its upside though. I get lots of laundry done between midnight and 5 am. I also get time to paint my nails. Waste time on Pinterest (its been so LONG since i've made a project off of there!!) and read. Sadly none of this helps wind me down enough to fall instantly into deep sleep.

On a slightly related note... Seems while Im having trouble going to and staying asleep,....

Aeva doesn't seem to realize when she's walked 10 feet in the direction opposite her bed and passed out, or

tucked and rolled off. 
Yes. Its messy. Its a kids room. They do something called 'playing'...and I don't always play maid right away.

Maybe Iris is the only normal of our trio...she's in there somewhere with 20 teddies and 3 blankets. But at least she SLEEPS.

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